WARNING: CONTAINS VERY MUSHY THOUGHTS

 A double episode of the OC- and one being the begining of the new season!!! House also begins again tomorrow night yay!!!

K is fast asleep on my bed, he would have to be the most beautiful person I have known, he is so perfect, just sleeping, everything about him is wonderful, the way he gets that lil grin of his, the way he makes me grin right back at him with out saying a word, the way he snuggles me in the morning (the amazing OMG million orgasms he gives me when we have sex) but I think the most amazing and important thing to me is the one thing I always wanted but could never find, until now, the way he always holds me and tells me everything is going to be okay when I'm upset.

Am going to forgo the dishes and cleaning and go lay beside my man,
Love Inga xoxo

Last night was spent mostly folding washing, there was tons of it and I am having a spring clean (even though its summer, so either I'm real late,  or horrendisley early). Either way its gotta be done. I have three cupboards that I havnt even looked in since I moved into this house (fair few months ago now) I dont think I could even tell you whats in them, maybe I fan heater, and some plstic bags I shoved in among the ruble to get them out of my sight...  should I go through, or just chuck? I havnt needed it yet... might just be ruthless and throw it all out!!!!

I still despretly want a new fish tank but it will have to wait. Think ill just stick with sorting out the garden for now! Andrew seems to think every time he looks at the clock its 14 to 8 its so funny. Oh well going to drop him off, I dont know how childcare workers do it everyday tons of screaming kids, waa fucking waa thats what I reckon kids annoy me (but ya have to love your own, its kinda a requirement).
Love Inga xo

"Because they're stupid, thats why everyone does everything" -Homer Simpson
I was laughing my head off tonight when he said that! Anyways it was warm todaya nd I got tons of washing done, tomorrow I hope to unpack my lawn mower oh and today I also weeded some of the vege garden is looking a lot happier!
Think im turning into a bit of a greenie, I bought a hose to attach to my washing machine its ten meters long and reaches the garden so I can save water, i re-planted my watermelon plant but I dont think it has much hope after the 40 degree days and no water in sight (poor thing) !!!! I am going to put more energy into the garden over the next few weeks if it doesnt get too hot or muggy, also got my air conditioner working today, after much yelling from my beloved father.. some things will never change! But in the end everyone was happy and he is away for four days!!! FOUR days of potentially not calling me!!! HA HA HA sure ... *pinching myself*

Today I was very peaceful and I thought about practically nothing, I love gardening (even though I am not real good at it), Kyle also crossed my mind a lot today, I think thinks have just started to fall into place, I mean I am a lot calmer and able to deal with things a lot more cooley.  (and I also thought about last night... what a porn star ;) it was awsome)
I sms him right now, but I will restrain and I'll just write on hear I love you kyle, my handsome... now the whole world will know (or even a measly .000000000000001 % who acctually take a peek at the pathetic ramblings of my life that is my blog)
Love Inga xox

Well this morning I acctually got up and made it to the market, was a grand effort indeed!! got 5 kg of potato's for one dollar I was so excited!!! (shows how much happens in my life lol), bought cherries.

OMG Kyle was willing to break up- after everything, but his fav pillow still resides upon my bed yay

Love Inga xo

I am so disspointed, T wants his phone (even though he said she probly wouldnt, but did he just say that to make me feel better about his mistake?)  Im not the one who said oh let me know- and then promised it to someone else like the next day. I deleted all my sms's from K in my phone last night. Maybe if I try not to think about him I wont get so disspointed if that ever happens again (it better NEVER EVER EVER EVER happen again).The reality is I think about him all the freaking time. Damn It, Damn Me for letting myself get hurt and pushed around, I HATE IT.

Inga

Went shopping today at the plaza with B, was great to shop with another chick as shopping with men can be tedious!!!  loved it, cathing up on all the things we'd been up too I was sooo excited!! And worst of all I didnt wanna go home I wanted to shop all day & night to my hearts content but the end had to come.. and we parted ways ( I had to pick up A from childcare ). K is up in the hills tonight, I really want his phone but I dont want to cause any more shit (even though technically its not my fault cos I didnt tell somone else I wouldnt want it) I give up... *heavy sigh* But *fingers crossed* T wont want it and I can buy it off him...
I want to get my motorbike lisence this year I might look it up while I am online, find out some info about obtaining it, I might even take some drawing classes this year too. I would also love to scubadive but until I find out what is really rong with the 'sinus area; of my face and why it hurts like hell every second of every freaking day I will pospone that one. The specialist said to me (after months of medications and a ct scan) that there is nothing wrong with my sinsues!  In fact 90 per cent of people who see someone are diagnosed with sinusitis, not me though no I am one of the lucky 10% who present with the problem but no symptoms of anything wrong!! So now he thinks its a nerve problem, if medication doesnt work I will have to go to a neuroligist, pass it on to someone else when will they find something wrong!!! AAGGRRRHHH!!!! So another gruelling 6 weeks of medication one for the nerve, and one for stomach acid that apperantly casues my chronic mucos and tonsilitis.  I will take it religiously (as always) in hope that it fixes me. Going to look for a new job soon!! will even take my resume to some shops @ local centre... have to re-do my resume and make it all spiffy!!
Love my special K,
Love Inga xo

Still trying to catch up on sleep I didnt have due to driving home the other day (around 800 km)

Put the letter from L in a seperate folder in my inbox so i wont see it everytime I check my email and I wont get upset.

I love K, he is awsome....  thats all,
Luv Iggy xo

Well I wrote this post and andrew turned off my computer ggrrr. So here goeas again...
Basically I came home fro melb early cos Andrew had had enough, I wasnt gettin genough sleep (see previous blogs) and I missed K like mad. I arrived back in the early hours of the morning (around 3am) and K was asleep in my bed, it was great to wake up beside him again. But then tongiht it wasnt until he msg'd me saying he was staying at his house the night with his friends J G and T that I relised its not melbourne so much (except there is a whole heap to do there!!!) that I miss but my friends, my mates who would come over to my house and drink and hang out, K has his friends that he grew up with and mostly everyone he knows here, I have no one here... I am lonely.

Yep lonely

I have some friends here, but not close, and I only see them once in a blue moon. In melb all my friends are there, the ones who used to come to my house for dinner and drink and just generally hang out, so what do I do now, I clean.... I guess cos it keeps me busy and stops me thinking about feeling lonely.  ANyways... better go as I fell asleep earlier and my house is now a classified disaster area! Back to cleaning..
-Inga

Okay so went to the specailists this morning about my sinuses again. Have been taking his stupid suggested medicine for 6 weeks now and still nothin! Had a blood test for allergies to pollens and mould dustmites ect, and nothing there (so its okay boys dont go scrubbing the mould off your windowsills just yet), then I had a CT scan was scary but at least I thought if we know whats wrong we can fix it... and nothing there either!! Reckon ill still have to have my tonsils out- ouch, poor kyle I found out today You dont get to eat jelly anymore when u have ur tonsils out...you get toast and chewing gum apparently. So this poses the question in ones mind, how much chewing gum do hospitals keep in supply... and what if I find the stockpile of chewing gum? Does it still mean possesion is 9 tenths of the law? so many questions so few answers.

Epic space adventure Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith won best overall film and best drama honours on Tuesday at the People's Choice Awards.Despite being a multibillion-dollar film franchise, the six Star Wars movies have had a mixed record with critics and Hollywood award groups.

"I'm not a big favourite with the critics, but who listens to them?" Lucas said on stage.

"The reason I make films is for you. The audience rules."

hmm i copied the last bit off a web page but the add too wonder if it will show up on my blog.. interesting..

I dont know why I persist on trying to have a normal relationship I just keep getting upset.. maybe its just because Im hopelessly in love with him... I know he doesnt want me to be like the gf I was to my ex;s in melb, like that I keep things to myself and just do what im told, and really I dont want that either, but its so hard to stop myself slipping back into that habit, espessially when he says something like, tonight, he has two things to do and then will come back here, and so we do that, and I waited till like 6 I couldve picked up dru and spent an hour doing other stuff but never mind, that oviously didnt happen and now im mad cos he didnt tell me he was staying at home uptil he goes "im not going anywhere" and "ill see you tomorrow" bloody hell I couldve just cried, I honestly belived him when he said it, and that was my understanding that thats what was going to happen... in the big scheme of things it doesnt really matter... 1....2....3.....4.....5.....(another deep breath)...6....7....8.....9....10.... I want to come back as a leatard....

okay as of now I will make a consious effort to get our communtcation working better... maybe I need an interpreter.... 'work on it, we must...yeeesss....' good on yoda

luv Inga xo

do or do not.....

After waking and sorting things out, he always makes me smile, and its this silly omg i love u smile and he gets it too but i love it so much. We had an awsome shower together if u know what i mean like porn star style, had to have a second shower after we had finished!! And tehn KFC, it was awsome!!! and then we wathc BIO-DOME a movie that was made a long long time ago and was god i laughed my head off it was great,' i wanna come back as a leotard' so hilarious I liked it, as tacky as it is i liked it. I am going to put the bin out and head off too bed, am very tired... will be cuddling my little furry camel all night long... I love that camel... but nothing beats the real thing... waking up in K's arms is my heaven... xoxox

Im so exhausted, more so emotionally exhausted, so tired cos my sinuses hurt. Last night, I felt like crap, all cos silly girls were not making it easyfor me to stay sane and be polite,a nd fuk did i try i tried to be nice, but how can I when all of them laugh AT me, its not the nicest feeling being talked about and laughed at, in fact its mighty uncomfotable. Also When Gemma gave him a hug 'she was only saying hello' even though she had said hello to him like an hour before when she actually arrived, anyways, the look she gave me was like 'see this bitch' and i just felt like clutching my Mp3 player and crying and not listening to anyone or talking ever again. So I danced with Jesse i think his name was, and it wasnt for any other reason except mainly to get away form all the girls, and all the 'looks' and comments, fuken hell who are they to judge someone they havnt even met.and did god give them the right to act like moles. seriously. I know when I danced with him that K got jelous and I felt so awful, how was I sposed to tell him how  his 'chick' friends made me feel, they didnt exactly make it easy for me to be there. Its so fuking unfair, I thought gemma and her friends were sposed to be the nicest people in the world (from all I had heard) but I spose cos im not in their little congregation of bitches they systematically file me under the 'we dont know her so we hate her' file. It really hurt. i dont think I have ever in my enitre life felt like that before. And I dont want to again. I know K luvs gemma as a mate and all, and I was in such a state over it that I was willing to end it with K I dont want to have to fight for my own bf's attention.. or be treated like crap and made to feel like shit and then try to ignore them and have it all turn into shit its not, for his sake, because I feel everything is my fault that they hate me (and I didnt even do anything wrong) fukn hell I hadnt even met them before, what did I do??? what the hell did I do wrong??????

Anyways we got back to K's and after I think I must have been crying my eyes out I think I must of tryed to explain how I felt for like an hour but I dont know how much would have made sense last night. He stopped me driving drunk and we sorted it out this morning, I dont wanna be without him, I love him, I think after last night, that wont ever happen again. Cos I will think about it for a while and I mean there are a few solutions to that not happnening again,
1. I dont go out with him when he hangs out with them... (dont like that one though)
2. I do go and if they start just tell him how I feel (even though I fear he will just reply with' your being silly'
3. I go and confront them on their own behavouir and hope to god they have grown up a bit and dont start being childish and petty about it and start too much shit.
I am still working on a solution... Anyways, if we can survive this, we can survive anything...he is my everything.
Love Inga xoxoxox